You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Send us your Text From Last Night!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.