My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.