You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.