Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.