So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?