i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...