I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.