I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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