I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
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my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.