Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion