one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
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It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn