Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
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i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?