I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
they're staring at me
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.