whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.