You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.