i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.