its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
