i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
