Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
