FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He's on the porch naked. Help.