the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.