...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
