But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.