i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
