Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
