It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
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Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
