The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism