One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
