Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Send us your Text From Last Night!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.