sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass