We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Send us your Text From Last Night!
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?