If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
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the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo