some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.