she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
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So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
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hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
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i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.