We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
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his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home