I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
