I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?