Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
