New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Send us your Text From Last Night!
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.