Texts From Last Night

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?

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(617): Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money? http://tfl.nu/6pei

Replies (12) Good night (2875) Bad night (703)
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(913): View more from Kansas

My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.

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(913): My favorite part of our friendship is your tits. http://tfl.nu/3eyr

Replies (19) Good night (4504) Bad night (840)
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(716): View more from New York

All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.

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(716): All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world. http://tfl.nu/xqix

Replies (10) Good night (1061) Bad night (2161)
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(813): View more from Florida

Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person

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(813): Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person http://tfl.nu/pnlg

Replies (55) Good night (3548) Bad night (705)
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(631): View more from New York

i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon

(1-631): View more from New York

been there done that

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(631): i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon (1-631): been there done that http://tfl.nu/mjyl

Replies (13) Good night (2404) Bad night (839)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?

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(215): how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon? http://tfl.nu/98up

Replies (20) Good night (6856) Bad night (714)
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(626): View more from California

Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.

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(626): Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess. http://tfl.nu/higf

Replies (57) Good night (840) Bad night (3405)
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(216): View more from Ohio

let's bang

(773): View more from Illinois

You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.

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(216): let's bang (773): You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no. http://tfl.nu/cr4i

Replies (68) Good night (1578) Bad night (6524)
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(404): View more from Georgia

girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice

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(404): girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice http://tfl.nu/q2o9

Replies (20) Good night (822) Bad night (3843)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Milquetoast, coolest word ever.

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(215): Milquetoast, coolest word ever. http://tfl.nu/m1o9

Replies (23) Good night (2328) Bad night (690)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.

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(503): I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt. http://tfl.nu/ymql

Replies (17) Good night (4841) Bad night (819)
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(214): View more from Texas

apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......

(817): View more from Texas

told ya

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(214): apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back...... (817): told ya http://tfl.nu/csea

Replies (13) Good night (2765) Bad night (767)
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(940): View more from Texas

Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.

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(940): Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost. http://tfl.nu/jz6g

Replies (25) Good night (730) Bad night (3188)
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(440): View more from Ohio

i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth

(330): View more from Ohio

well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth

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(440): i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth (330): well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth http://tfl.nu/ms7e

Replies (25) Good night (5161) Bad night (696)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?

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(586): Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low? http://tfl.nu/jj2a

Replies (32) Good night (1322) Bad night (2810)

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