my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.