I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.