ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
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did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better