For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."