all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
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Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you