I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
there was a trapeze. enough said
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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