I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
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the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA