The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.