12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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