He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The Olympian is in my bed
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
