He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Send us your Text From Last Night!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.