And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.