we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
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I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.