He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
