well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?