Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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