I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye