you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Send us your Text From Last Night!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.