I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Can I color on your dick again?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
