Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.