high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us