If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.