I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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